Why I’m going on a Juice Cleanse

20 Aug


That’s right. I didn’t eat solid food for 5 days. Some would call this “insane”, “unhealthy”, “pyscho” etc., I just call it “normal 20something white girl behavior”. Please see Betches Like This for further information on these people.


  • $50/day
  • Company: Total Cleanse
  • 5 days
  • 6 juices a day
  • 4th time juice cleansing

I’m sure the real purpose of this cleanse is for health, but I’m pretty sure every nutritionist ever says your body can detoxify itself on its own. I have been feeling really naseous and bloated lately though so I did want to see if something I was eating was causing that, and I figured the best way to do that was to “reset”.  I have been eating very poorly for two weeks, so I wanted to drop a bunch of water weight, get rid of all the bloat and motivate myself to start a diet (that includes some solid food). Let’s not lie though and say I did this all for weight. I also want to look good naked. And in clothes. And in Facebook pictures. #truth.

Also yes, this is expensive. But I haven’t bought groceries all summer so I typically spend $20 a day for food anyways, so the price is really only $30/a day.

Some ask, isn’t it hard not eating solids for 5 days? Not really, I respond. I think it is if you are juicing yourself, because that is a shit load of work. Or if you have to cook for children or a spouse, or have a lot of social events with food. But I work really well with these sorts of strict diets becuase everything is delivered to your house, there is no guesswork at all. You just drink the juice, and nothing else. Super easy! This is why I would fail miserably on weight watchers. I don’t do moderation well. If it says I can have one small cookie, I might as well have 3. But no cookies? okay, Done. Also, by day 3 you actually don’t really want food at all. Like the thoughts just aren’t there. And if you do need some food, the company  provides a list of cheat foods.  I’ll be keeping a diary of my cleanse so STAY TUNED!!


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