Bring it on: Vampire Diaries Review S4 E16

15 Mar

Yay! Vampire Diaries is back from hiatus. My Thursday nights were just NOT the same. I’m assuming you have all seen this episode which is why I will have lots of spoilers and won’t bother summarizing. Here are my feelings:

#nofeelingselena

  • Nina Dobrev has managed to play three vampires and plays them all differently. I was afraid #nofeelingselana was going to act like Katherine but she just acts…kind of cold. I like it.
  • CLEAVAGE!!! A clear sign that Elena is no longer #littlemissmopey. She’s getting spunky! I like it! Usually the only way to tell the diff btwn Katherine and Elena or katherine-playing-elana was the hair and cleavage. For the keggar, Elena also put her hair up. A CLEAR sign she has turned her feelings off. #littlemissmopey DOES not show her breasts. Only evil vamps do that, duh
  • I love how this Elena just says exactly what’s on her mind. #nofilter. She’s all like “Gd Stefan, stop being so obsessed with me, get your own life”. She’s kind of right! Like Stefan, seriously, you are kinda a stage 5 clinger at this point. She also is right when she comes out of the shower naked and is all like “Guys, letz be honest, nothing you haven’t seen before”. #awkward, but, #truth. Besides, both of them have ALSO seen Katherine naked so, like, whatever. It’s like summer camp!
  • She also full out shows her vagina to Stefan below. Like ‘Hello Stefan, here is my crotch”
  • They had great sex? Great statutory sex? Still not forgetting that Stefan a. looks like he’s 32 and b. is actually like, 165 years old. And what sort of teenagers have great sex anyway? #unrealistic.
  • Also, sidenote on that last observation, remember when having sex between teenagers on a tv show was a big deal? Like in the early 90s. Stefan and Elena consummated their relationship after dating for a few weeks.

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Cheering!

  • oooo Eleana dropped #vampirebarbie. Who the fuck cares? Why is she acting hurt? She’s a freakin vampire. A fall from that height should not even make her wince.
  • Also, #vampirebarbie is still on the cheerleading team? Why have we not heard anything about this?
  • Like, really? #vampirebarbie can just get Elena on the cheerleading squad? I’m Canadian so we don’t really have that stuff, but I thought it was all betchy and there were competitive tryouts and like only a certain number of people on the squad. At least that’s how it was in Bring it On, the movie which is where I get all my cheer info from. Maybe half the squad has died since, ya know, #mysticfallsbadluck
  • Why wasn’t Elena wearing a sports bra to cheer in?  That makes no sense.

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Kegger

  • How does Elena get ready so fast for a party? Like seriously. #jealz. #naturallyhot.
  • Elena is turning into such a little slut, I love it. With the whole like, ooo let me stretch my leg on your shoulder, and all the stripping. Like, no subtlety here!
  • That cranberry halter is really cute!
  • Again, Elena is very curvy and very skinny. Props again.
  • DID I NOT SAY LAST TIME THAT #VAMPIREBARBIE AND STEFAN HAVE GREAT CHEMISTRY?? Omg the first time in four years that the show has acknowledged how great they are together. Run with this Julie Plec, run with it!
  • Also Elena, you were totally #jealz, don’t lie. Jealous is a feeling. Does Elena have feelings? #soconfused #doesn’tmakesense

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Betch fight

  • Whatever if Elena wanted to escape she didn’t have to provide that little diversion. She could have just smashed a window and left. It doesn’t even seem like she wants to leave.
  • Also, whatever, she’s 18, she’s an adult she can clearly take care of herself so you guyz don’t need to be her parents! Although I get that they need her around because they want to to turn on her feelings again
  • Whatever Elena, you trained with Alaric for like, 2 days, this doesn’t make you a kung-fu master.
  • Caroline has gotten sort of whiny. When she first turned she was a kick-ass-betch +strong female character. Maybe they still need someone to fill the position of mopey-good-hearted-female?
  • Elena is totally right though, Carebear IS nosey!
  • OOO do not kill #vampirebarbie Elena, you will regret that

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Klaus and Hayley

  • WHAT? This subplot makes no sense. I was so confused when watching it. It’s so scattered. I only assume they put this in here as a promo for their spin-off series.
  • Okay first of all, Haley conspired with Tyler to get rid of the sire bond in Klaus’ hybrids. Does he not know that? She is the one who told him about the turned hybrids so how does he not know this? Did she blame it on Tyler? If she did then why did she get the fuck out of dodge so fast?
  • How did Klaus even find her? Did he find her in New Orleans then bring her back? Why would he bring her back he could have rented a hotel to interrogate her
  • Did Klaus or Hayley bite that vampire?
  • I LOVE you Pheobe Tonkin, but you need an accent coach. Your aussie accent totes come through all the time
  • Why are all werewolfs really hot? Remember #juliethewerewolf
  • Again, werewolfs are supposed to be SUPER rare and hard to find yet, Klaus knew a whole “clan” of them? Uh, okay so like this whole family had to murder someone to turn into werewolfs then.
  • Klaus’ treatment of Hayley was so weird. Like why is he even bothering wining and dining her? Why doesn’t he just compel her to tell him what she knows about Katherine? Is it because she is on vervain Or why doesn’t he torture her? He barely presses the issue and then is trying to bargain with her. YOU HAVE THE POSITION OF POWER KLAUS!
  • Phoebe Tonkin does this slinky thing really well but she keeps talking into her cup. It’s annoying and I can’t really hear what she’s saying well
  • Has she tried to talk to Shane/Silas yet about her parents? Does she even know anything about this? Her entire purpose of working with Shane was to find her parents, and now she seems to have abandoned this line of inquiry? She knows now that Katherine has the cure and that Silas was awakened but has not even asked like “oh btw, can he actually bring back dead people? Where is he? What’s happening”
  • I want to give them both the book “He’s just not that into you”. They need to read and reread that several times

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#NofeelingsElena and Damon

  • So the sire bond has disappeared. This makes no sense also. The sire bond stems from her feelings and now that she has no feelings there is no more sire bond.
  • Ugh. Just ugh. The whole sire bond does not make sense. Plenty of humans have had feelings for vamps, then been turned and have NOT had a sire bond. So I STILL DON’T UNDERSTAND why Damn has got TWO sire bonds in the past 50 years. Especially when it’s so “rare”. Maybe this is like a “werewolfs are soooo rare and hard to find” thing. a.k.a super common.
  • Tyler’s sire bond did not stem from any sort of feelings. Or maybe they did? Like the feeling of gratefulness for not having to turn? Just not romantic feelings?
  • Whatever, all they have to do to get Elena to turn on her feelings again is to get Rebecca or Klaus to compel her to do so. #nobiggie.
  • Clearly Elena DOES have some feelings because she still likes Damon and wants to hang out with him
  • Remember #englishrose telling everyone that #turningitoff is a fake thing? That it’s not really possible to do after a while? And how Katherine convinced Stefan to “care” by her pep talk last season before she disappeared? How deep does Elena’s #turningitoffgo?
  • I really disagree with Damon liking her better this way. Who would like a robot? He fell in love with the goodness of Elena. #vampireelana was a good mix for him since it was like a spiced up version of her, but this is going to far. Also because now she can’t return his love (can she?)

Silas and the cure

  • Whatever.
  • STEFAN stop being obsessed with giving Elena the cure. What’s so bad about being a vampire anyway? Give it to Rebecca who actually wants it (probably still does even after Damon’s “ordinary is boring speech”) or force feed it to Klaus. Stefan is so controlling over this issue. And over Elana in general. Get a life! Sleep with Rebecca again. WHO BY THE WAY HAS ALSO SLEPT WITH BOTH BROTHERS. Like guyz, stop sharing women it’s just not normal.

Sidenotes

  • Elena is 18 and a vampire. Why doesn’t she just drop out of school? What is she going to use the education for? And lets be honest, she rarely goes anyway. Except to dances.
  • Just occurred to me that Finn, who had been dead for 900 years, speaks English.  Shouldn’t he be speaking Viking or some old language?
  • So Matt, #onlyteeninmysticfalls, now lives in Tyler’s mansion. #upgrade. I can only assume that Tyler is 18 and that his mom left that house in her will to him.  And that Tyler knows a lawyer. And that Matt’s mom has left town again. How is Matt supposed to afford the upkeep of that house? And how will the house protect #vampirebarbie? Because Klaus can’t get in it? He can still…burn it down or throw rocks hard or pay humans to get in. Just saying. Also, #RIP. Vampire Barbie and Asshole Werewolf are no more. Remember when Matt rejected #vampirebarbie because she is undead and sucks blood? #smartestpersoninthistown.

What did you guys think??

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